Why Cutting Off All Contact With An Ex Is The Only Way To Move On (2023)

FAQs

Is it best to cut off all contact with an ex? ›

It can feel like an extreme move when you're still working to get over a breakup, but the truth is that cutting off contact with an ex is the fastest, most effective way to truly move on.

Staying friends makes the split more difficult

There's a reason that couples aim for a clean break — it's easier on your heart if you have some space away from your ex and your former relationship. It helps you to take the time to heal and get on without your ex's presence in your life.

Some people may be asking, “Does No Contact work?”. While everyone's ex is different, the No Contact Rule does increase the likelihood of your ex missing you and wanting to come back. In essence, it will show them that you are not available for them whenever they want you and that you have your own life to live.

The “no contact rule” is so effective because it means a person has accepted the fact the relationship is over. Putting away mementos, blocking phone numbers, email addresses, and unfriending an ex on social media are catharsis actions.

Remember, silence is a key after you've just broken up. It helps re-establish your bond while allowing both you and your partner to think. So, instead of texting and making phone calls, be absolutely silent. Do not reach out to him, and if he tries to do so, simply ignore him.

Some people may think that ignoring your ex is the best revenge. This allows them to wonder about you since they don't see you checking up on them, and you may be fine without them. In general terms, having no contact at all for at least 30 days after a breakup can give ignoring your ex the best chance at working.

The male mind during no contact

The no-contact rule male psychology forces him to recognize his loneliness. After a breakup, if you stop contacting him, he will feel free and enjoy this phase as much as he can. But, with time, the loneliness and guilt pang will start to kick in.

Does no contact make him miss you? Yes! One of the best ways to use silence after a breakup is to cut off all means of communication. That includes going silent on social media after a breakup.

In fact, most say that their ex is uniquely stubborn – more so than other exes or other people. While I'm not suggesting that you are wrong in thinking that your ex boyfriend, ex girlfriend, or spouse is stubborn, this trait would not negate the impact of The No Contact Rule in the vast majority of cases.

At the very least, the no contact rule requires that you keep radio silence for 30 days after the breakup. Depending on your situation, that void might have to extent for a few more weeks or months. The goal of no contact is to give you the power of silence after break up.

How long is no contact too much? ›

While 30 days is a good rule of thumb, everybody is different. Some people move on really fast after a breakup, while other people take a long time. If 30 days pass and you still aren't ready, it's totally okay to extend your period of no contact.

Going 'no-contact' with someone you spent a lot of time with and planned a future with can be painful. A woman experiencing the stages of no contact is likely to feel angry, sad, and lonely. While a woman is likely to feel sadness in the early stages of no contact, she will quickly get over her ex as time goes on.

As a general rule of thumb, I recommend that you do active no contact for about 30 days, about one month. This is by no means a strict rule that everyone must follow. But generally 30 days of no contact is a good starting point.

Silence speaks volumes

Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in. If you do, you are meeting their expectations.

There is no easy way to deal with a breakup, but remaining silent actually speaks volumes to your ex. After all, actions speak louder than words! By staying silent, you're telling your ex that you're strong, resilient, and independent. You're relying on yourself — and no one else — for your own happiness.

Research indicates that both men and women use the silent treatment in relationships. However, clear and direct communication is essential for healthy relationships. Using the silent treatment prevents people from resolving their conflicts in a helpful way.

With complete silence, your ex will have the time to think as well. This will make your ex feel confused, lost, and at times, your ex might even start missing you.

Do men think about you during no contact? ›

For most guys, a “no contact” period will make them realize how much they care about you or make them jealous, confused, or remorseful. It's a time full of emotions, and we've put together a thorough list of what he might feel while you're giving him the silent treatment.

Men often go through an emotional state called “Dumpers Remorse” after the woman finally goes away. This state hits after one month to six weeks after the man passes through the initial happy phase after a breakup. He starts to give away signs he knows he messed up the whole thing from that time.

With the majority of men, he will miss you if you leave him alone. That might sound ridiculous but there are some very good reasons behind it. 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder' is an expression that is very true.

If you two have been out of the relationship you had for a long period of time, the odds that they think about you often, other than a passing moment here or there, is slim. But if it's been days, weeks, or less than 6 months from the breakup, the odds are that your ex thinks about you quite a bit.

Just remember, most guys tend to come back to their ex girlfriends as soon as they have started moving on. So if you can create the illusion that you are moving on and moving forward, it may cause him to return to you sooner. But keep in mind that is he thinks he has you, he's not going to be afraid of losing you.

What Do You Mean 30 Day No Contact Rule? Exactly what it says, no contact, cut off all communication for an amount of time determined by certain factors. However, it's less of a rule and more of a technique or strategy to either move on with your life or reconcile.

What is the No Contact Rule? The no contact rule is defined as a period of time during which you don't contact your ex (or a toxic person) so that both of you can get some space and time apart from each other. If done correctly, the no contact rule helps you heal from the breakup, stop panicking and grow as a person.

An ex will likely come back if they're in a rebound relationship, if the breakup was an impulsive decision, or if the breakup was mutual. Your ex might return if they unblock your number and keep an eye on you with social media. They may also try to contact you again.

How many times does no contact work? ›

Not totally, but instead of 100% effective, it'll be around 90% effective. The next time you break it, you lose another 10% of effectiveness, and so on all the way down to zero. Each time you have to restart because you failed, No Contact will lose effectiveness.

“The No Contact rule is where you don't call, text, or message an ex in any way after the breakup. It includes not talking to their friends or family about them or the breakup itself,” says dating and breakup coach Lee Wilson.

~In reality, what makes a dumper change their mind is seeing you move on. Knowing that they can't have you after they started to value you, hurts them. This makes them regret their decision because they start to value you differently.

How Long Does it Take After a Breakup to Get Back Together Your Ex? In most cases, couples get back together within 1-6 months of the breakup. This statistics only includes couples who stayed together in a long term relationship after getting back together. Here's a chart with more details on this.

"If it was over something really trivial, for example, you may be able to patch things up in a day or two. If it was over something more serious, it's a good idea to take a month apart so that you have time to get your emotions in check and get clarity about the situation.

In fact, based on our research you can expect the average ex to begin missing you anywhere between 2.5 to 5.2 months after a breakup assuming you put forth signals that you are “moving on from them.”

According to the famous no contact rule, 30 days is enough time for both of you to get in a better headspace and healthily process your feelings. Plus, when you draw boundaries and give her space to miss you, your ex will start remembering the good times you had together.

A friendship with an ex can be highly rewarding, but it's more than OK not to have a relationship or be in contact with them. Accepting the transience of connection and moving forward on your own path will give you much more peace than holding onto a past flame when there is no longer alignment.

Is closure from ex necessary? ›

Closure is important after a breakup because:

Your brain needs an authentic narrative to make sense of what happened. Without closure you might keep going back to a relationship that wasn't working. You could be doomed to repeat the same relationship patterns the next time around without closure.

"It can take anywhere from six weeks to three months to forever, depending on how intense the relationship was, how invested you were in each other, and how heartbroken you are," says Jane Greer, PhD, New York-based marriage and family therapist and author of What About Me? (Those three factors all sort of piggyback on ...

If you genuinely love spending time together and have a bunch of shared hobbies, interests, and mutual friends, that's totally valid. Just make sure you're not trying to substitute a platonic relationship for your romantic relationship just because it's easier to still have them in your life that way.

Among people who say they have at least one living ex-romantic partner, 17% say they are friends with all of their exes, and 37% are friends with one but not all of their previous partners. The largest share of people – 44% – say they aren't friends with any of their exes.

Some people even have a desire to avoid closure at all cost. This could be because they don't want to end up feeling guilty, rejected or criticised by others. Vagueness has its advantages, as soon as you have established exactly what happened, you are also subject to criticism – from yourself and others.

Lack of. The lack of closure leaves a situation in ambiguity. People high in need for closure seek to avoid this ambiguity at all costs where people high in need to avoid closure strive to make situations more ambiguous.